An Open Letter To My Readers

Hello my dear readers,

Apologies for not posting in a while, Life has gotten in the way of everything from YouTube to Blogging. I tried to Vlog October but it didn't work.

I had my show which was amazing. It was called Road and here is some pictures from it

It was an amazing experience and easily my favourite play that i've done to date.

I also met Zoë Sugg (aka Zoella) at the weekend. She's even more beautiful in person and it was an honor to meet her and even talk to her for less than a minute. I wrote her a letter because I knew I wouldn't be able to say everything I wanted to in such a short amount of time 

But with these amazing experiences came well shitting family things. It's come to my attention that people in my family (that i've never met may I add) have been spreading lies about me. I don't want to be included in this feud that is going on. My mum reminded me that i'm the weak link in the family which means those hateful people in my family use me to get to my wonderful and loving parents. NO MORE.

I have now decided that I will be refraining from posting much on Facebook or Twitter and even YouTube and Tumblr. It's annoying because it's not my friends or my close immediate family that have hurt me but now I have to stop expressing myself. This blog is my safe place but I give it 6 months before they find this and it all starts again.

To my faithful readers and viewers on YouTube I love every single one of you for sticking with me. I promise to continue to upload on YouTube but you'll understand if it takes me a while to post anything that i'm happy with.

Thank You.

Love Laura xoxo

I Got That Red Lip, Classic Thing That You Like.

"She has a way with words, red lipstick and making an entrance." - Kate Spade

When I think of the lipstick, the first thing I can think of is the colour red. I always thought you had to be blonde to wear red, but as per usual I was wrong. Anyone can wear red lipstick and it'll look good because it's such a classic colour, and such a staple to everyone's collection. So I thought i'd share my little collection that i've accumulated over the past year.

So as you can see above, I swatched them and put their colour names on top of them.

From L-R

MAC (Sin) - £15.50

Maybelline Color Sensational Mattes (Divine Wine) - £6.99

Collection Deluxe (Prohibition) - £3.99

Kate Moss by Rimmel (107) - £5.49

Kate Moss by Rimmel (01) - £5.49

Topshop 5 Years of Beauty (Beguiled) - £8

Topshop (Wicked) - £8

Tanya Burr Beauty Lip Gloss (Berry Picking) - £5.99

MUA Velvet Lip Laquer (Reckless) - £3

Esscence (Rockin' Red) - A FREEBIE FROM THE EMA'S 2014

Topshop (Hazard) - £8

Max Factor (Ruby Tuesday) - £7.99

Right now i'm loving Sin, Divine Wine and Berry Picking. I go through stages, I mean a few months ago it was Reckless and Beguiled. It's weird because I forgot I had a few of these shades, I struggle trying to make the brighter red's like 'Hazard' work, but i'm going to persevere and try and wear each of these colours once by Christmas Day this year.

What are your favourite red lipsticks? What other red's should I try? Let me know in the comments. Laura xo

Dear Journalists, Why Are You Such Tit's?

credit to the--cumberbatches on tumblr

So back in June, Benedict Cumberbatch and Sophie Hunter welcomed their first child into the world and last week we discovered he was named 'Christopher Carlton Cumberbatch'. Straight away is there anything wrong with that? He has a first name, a middle name and a last name. Funny enough though, they all begin with 'C'. That's pretty cool right? Apparently according to 'Heart Scotland' these two lovely parents have 'Lost the plot when it comes to naming their child' Why is that you may ask? I'll tell you.

Because it's apparently a 'Tongue-twisting name'. You really just can't make this shit up.

Stuff like this annoys me to no end. They named their son Christopher which is a beautiful name which of course can be shortened to Chris. The important thing is, is that it's an ordinary name. We're used to seeing Christopher's around. So why is it such a news worthy thing that their sons full name has three C's?

One of the most popular and familiar reality TV show families; The Kardashians have done this. Kris, Kim, Kourtney and Khloe Kardashian. So what is actually the big deal?

Is it the fact that Carlton is his middle name? Benedict's fathers last name is Carlton and it's very common to have surnames as middle names. My dad's middle name is Gourley, which is the last name of relations on either his mother or father's side.

My final comment is that so what it's a tongue twister of a name? Anyone's name said three times fast will be a tongue twister. As if people are going to meet him and go 'Alright Christopher Carlton Cumberbatch?' Come on people! They are perfectly sane first time parents who named their son an ordinary name. I wish the couple all the best and I bet you he's absolutely beautiful.

Yours Faithfully, 

Laura Annie Hazel Goodwin xo

What's In My Make-Up Bag ~ College Edition

Make-Up is essential for my everyday life and for college life too. You never know when you are going to end up in the pub after college so it's always good to be prepared, so here we go. Let's take a look into what I take to college with me.

From Left to Right

MUA Pro-Base Primer - £4 (Superdrug)

NYC Smooth Skin Perfecting Primer (Shade 684) - £3.49 (Superdrug)

No7 Beautiful Skin Vitality Eye Roll-On - £16 (Boots)

From Up to Down

Maybelline Linerefine Eyeliner Matic (Black) - £3.99 (Superdrug)

Collection Extreme Felt Tip Liner (Black) - £2.99 (Superdrug)

M.A.C False Lashes Extreme Black Mascara - £19 full size (M.A.C)

From Left to Right

Collection Lasting Perfecting Concealer (2 - Cool Medium) - £4.19 (Superdrug)

Benefit Porefessional - £24.50 full size (Benefit)

Benefit Girl Meets Pearl - £24.50 full size (Benefit)

Benefit Stay Don't Stray - £20.50 full size (Benefit)

From Left to Right

NARS Blush (Orgasm) - £23 (NARS)

BéllaPièrre Cosmetics Blush Brush - £24.99 (House of Frasers)

Top Row (From L to R)

M.A.C Lipstick (Sin) - £15.50 (M.A.C)

Kiko Velvet Mat Lipstick (614 - Dark Berry) - £6.90 (Kiko)

Zoella Beauty Kissy Missy Lip Balm - £3 (Superdrug)

From Up to Down

M.A.C Prep + Prime Lip Primer - £13.50 (M.A.C)

M.A.C Lip Liner (Nightmoth) - £12 (M.A.C)

Barry M Lip Liner (9 - Mulberry) - £2.99 (Superdrug)

From Left to Right

Purple Real Techniques 'Eye Starter Kit' - £20.99 (Superdrug)

NAKED 3 Brush - Comes with NAKED 3 Palette

NAKED Brush - Comes with NAKED Palette

Flamingo Tweezers - £1 (Primark)

Real Techniques Complection Sponge - £5.99 (Superdrug)

Miss Sporty Clear Mascara - £2.99 (Superdrug)

From Left to Right

NAKED Palette - £32 (Urban Decay)

Eau Nude Parfum - £4 (NEXT)

And that's it! That's what I take with me to college. It's all self explanatory really. I'm not a foundation person so I just take concealer and the porefessional. I also like having a few lip options and primers usually just make my face feel clean and ready. I'd love to know what products you guys think I should try out next and let me know what your essentials are for school, uni or work are! Till next time.

Laura xo

What's In My Bag ~ College Edition

It's officially time for most of us to head back to School, College, University and Work! Either you're starting for the first time, going into your final year or just starting another year; everybody has a bag full of the stuff they need for their 5 days a week right? So here it is, everything I cram into my bag for College.

First off, if you guys don't know, i'm an performing arts student and i'm doing my HND at West College Scotland and this is my final college year before I go onto to do my degree. Let's start with the front pocket of my bag.

From Left to Right

Dog shaped paperclips - £1 (Wilko)

Colourful sticky tabs - 50p (Wilko)

Apple iPhone plug - £2.99 (Amazon)

Pink iPhone lead - £8.99 (Amazon)

Note cards - £1 (Wilko)

The front pocket of this backpack is very roomy and it's where I usually store smaller things like my phone charger which is an essential for me to take to college since for the three days that i'm in, i'm in from 9 till 4 but if we include travel time; i'm really out the house from 7:40am till 5:45pm so I need my phone charger. Sticky tabs are important for me because if I get given scripts or theres a monologue in a book I need to learn, I can note it with one of the tabs rather than highlighting or sometimes I do both. The notecards are handy for me jotting down a monologue to learn it and finally, I bought the dog shaped paperclips on a whim thinking i'd never use them but on out first day I think we got about 20 sheets given to us so my paperclips came in very handy. Now onto my pencil case.

Top Row

Black fine liners - £1 (Wilko)

Black Sharpie (from 24pck) - £6.99 (WHSmiths)

Blue pen - 99p (WHSmiths)

Black Rollerball pens - 85p (Wilko)

White 'House Of Commons' pen - £3.50 (Houses of Parliament Gift Shop)

Mechanical pencils - £1 (Wilko)

Bottom Row

Highlighters - £1 (Wilko)

Stabilo Point88 pack of 10 pens - £4.49 (Amazon)

Zoella Cosmetic Coin Purse - £6 (Superdrug)

A pencil case is essential no matter if you're in school or in university. Even for drama we need pens to note down production notes or do theory work. I adore this Zoella Beauty case because it's just big enough for everything that I need to use and i'll not be caught out if one of my pens don't work because I have spares. Next, my jotters.

From Left to Right

Lab Notes jotter - £10 (Topshop)

Gypsy jotter - 75p (Wilko)

'Oh Hey!' jotter - £1 (Wilko)

Satchel and polka dot jotter - £1 (Wilko)

Camera and polka dot jotter - £1 (Wilko)

Last year I feel like I wasn't organised and prepared for the amount of note taking and theory I was going to have to embark on so this year I decided to be prepared and purchased jotters for each of my subject in my first semester. So I use the lab notes one for Voice class, I use the Gypsy one for my log book for production, I use the 'oh hey!' one for Movement. I use the satchel one for professional development for actors and I use the camera one for (ironically), acting for camera. Now onto books.

Top Picture (from L to R)

Audition Speeches for Women by Jean Marlow - £9.34 (Amazon)

Voice and the Actor by Cicely Berry - £7.19 (Amazon)

Road by Jim Cartwright - £9.29 (Amazon)

Bottom Picture

No Safe House by Linwood Barclay - £7.99 (Selfridges)

Sherlock Holmes leather bookmark - £4 (Sherlock Holmes Museum gift shop)

Books are important to have for college, and if you buy them on your own accord before term starts it impresses your teachers and lecturers. I have a monologue book and a voice book which I tend to take with me on a Tuesday because thats the day I have voice, then the book 'Road' is the one I take on a Wednesday and a Friday since it's the play we're doing for production. 'No Safe House' I take with me on the train because I usually can't be bothered to take my Mac with me but my train journey lasts about 45 minutes so I need to do something to entertain myself during that time and that's where my book comes into play. Here are the final few things I have in my bag.

First Picture

Purse - $25 (Macy's)

Second Picture

Beats Solo 2 in Black - £169 (Currys)

Third Picture

Olay Make-Up Wipes - £2.99 (Superdrug)

These last three items are pretty essential. My purse, which i got in America back in 2004, holds everything from my bank card to my railcard and even to my actors equity card. It also holds what little money I have. Next is my Beats which are my little babies because there block out all the noise on the train and the 5-10 minute walk from the train station to the college. Finally my Olay wipes are my favourite thing on this earth. My make-up usually runs by like 11am so having these around save my ass from looking like a legit panda!

So that's everything I take with me in my bag. The reason I left out the green Zoella bag which is pictured in the first photo in this blog is because i'm going to do a separate post dedicated to what's in that lovely bag. I hope you enjoyed this post and look out for my 'What's In My Make-Up Bag ~ College Edition' post coming soon. 

Laura xo

Zoella Beauty

When I go into Superdrug you will most likely find me in the make-up aisles trying my hardest to restrain myself because I really don’t need another dark red lipstick do I? (yes I really do). When Zoella brought out her beauty range last year I couldn’t help but be compelled to buy it, or well my mum bought me it for my 19th birthday. So I got the candle, the body spray and the bag with Zoë’s eyes on it. I fell in love with the scent of both the spray and of the candle. I’m a performing arts student so it’s stressful and it’s also very, very tiring, so when I came home from college after a particularly tiring day, I got myself settled in my room and lit the candle and after about two minutes my room smelled magnificent. I usually like quite woody and sweet scents and I felt like the Zoella candle gave you that. Overall the smell is wonderfully relaxing.

As for the spray? I swear to god I wore it everyday from October to Christmas Day 2014. It’s such a refreshing everyday scent that I can’t help but spray. Pairing it with ‘Gold’ rollerball perfume from Next or Juicy Couture’s ‘Viva La Juicy’ you end up smelling like a very classy lady on her way to her first day in the new job where she gets promoted to the head of the company 6 months later. It’s grown up but also still fun and I think it’s a scent for any age really.

Pictured above is what i’ve purchased from Zoella’s new ‘Tutti Frutti’ range which hit shelves on the 6th July. From left to right; Candy Cream, Scrubbing Me Softly, Foam Sweet Foam and Kissy Missy lip balm at the front. Now I barely ever moisture, i’m one of those hateful people who was born with naturally smooth and clear skin, only getting a spot once every 6 months. So when the new rang hit shelves in July I couldn’t help but race in and get myself some body stuff.

Candy Cream was at the top of my shopping list along with Scrubbing Me Softly. It’s the bursting beads that sucked me in and I fell in love with. I use it straight after i’ve came out a shower, once i’ve dried off, before I put anything on. It’s amazing and my skin smells and feels absolutely amazing and since I never moisturise it’s like a little treat for my skin and I think it appreciates it.

Scrubbing Me Softly had me a little nervous since I never exfoliate since I didn’t need to start shaving my legs till last year and even then it’s barely ever but I digress, the minute I stood in the shower and rubbed some onto my arms and legs then washed it; my body had just felt so smooth, it was amazing! Safe to say I used it up pretty quickly and actually had to repurchase it last Monday and now I know a little goes a long way when using it.

Foam Sweet Foam is a great shower gel, it’s so creamy and it smells delicious. Also I appreciate that although it’s only a skinny bottle, it’s only £3.50 which is a bargain.

Kissy Missy was something I was scared to get in case I didn’t like it. I’m not a huge lip balm fan, they are too greasy for me and I feel like they are barely pigmented. That certainly can’t be said for Zoë’s lip balm. The lip balm is perfectly pigmented a beautiful pink colour which i’m sure just gives a pop of colour to any colour skin. It can be sheer or built up to give you a more opaque colour.

In Conclusion Zoella has out done herself and I can’t wait to see how the line is going to progress and you never know, maybe we’ll get some cool lipsticks next time.

Taylor Swift Concert

On Tuesday the 23rd June 2015 I made my way up to Glasgow to see the legend that is Taylor Swift at the SSE Hydro.

We booked my singular little VIP ticket back at the start of November 2014 during the Fan-club pre-sale. My ticket came about five or so days before the actual concert which nearly sent me into a panic attack especially after being on hold with AXS for half an hour. I had designed my own costume which consisted of cat ears, a cat tail, a simple white t-shirt, a pair of 3/4 length leggings and a pair of white Converses. I’m not very crafty but I decided to give it a go and transformed my t-shirt and leggings into something incredible. I got so many compliments on my leggings at the concert.

The leggings were easy enough to make, I just used Hi-Tack Fabric Glue that I purchased for about £2 off of Amazon and then used the polaroid photos that came with the 1989 Deluxe CD. I glued them on simply enough then ironed the leggings and I was good to go.

So when it came to the actual day, it started off as any other; I got up, changed into some comfy clothes and messed about whilst I waited for it to be 11:30 when my Driving Instructor would arrive to take me for a lesson. When I got dropped off back at my house at like 12:30 I ran inside to have a quick cigarette and grab my purse and I made my way up to our local corner shop to withdraw money before my best friend Léah arrived to help me get ready. Funny enough, as I approached the cash machine Léah was standing there taking out money too. Once we walked back down to my house, we ordered a Dominos and then we started on getting my face looking amazing which my bffl is very good at doing.

Then it got to 3pm and I was ready to go. We jumped in a taxi and made our way to the train station where Léah headed home and I made my way up to Glasgow. I was dressed to the nines (as you can see above) and I got many funny looks as I travelled on both my trains but once I had walked over the walkway that leads from the Exhibition Centre Train Station and hit the SECC and the Hydro I didn’t get funny looks, I got smiles. There were hundreds of girls and boys dressed up in costumes too. I didn’t feel alone which really helped my anxiety.

Heading to a concert is stressful enough but then when you go by yourself it can cause anxiety, even for someone who doesn’t suffer from it on a daily basis. Thank god that i’m studying acting and i’ve gained confidence from that over the years. That confidence allowed me to interact with the people I was standing in the line with. Once I got into the arena and into the pit I met a girl who was also dressed as a cat called Tara. She was by herself too and we hit it off right away. 

Next thing we knew a guy with a lanyard came in but it was different to our collectible one that came with our pack so we both threw caution to the wind and went up and spoke to him, even gaining ourselves a selfie with him. Turns out that once Taylor came on, we realised that he was one of her main dancers and his name was Mark.

 Vance Joy, who was supporting Taylor, was incredible and played all my favourite songs including ‘Mess Is Mine’ and of course ‘Riptide’. Tara couldn’t help but point out that he kept looking over at me. Maybe it was because I was singing along really loudly or maybe it was because I was just excited to see him but he smiled at me a few times and I melted.

Then Taylor came on and me and Tara were in tears. She opened with ‘Welcome to New York’ and it was beautiful. Safe to say the rest of the concert is a blur and me and Tara basically made friends with Paul, her guitarist. We both even got thrown guitar pics by him which was amazing! I cried when Taylor sang ‘Clean’ and ‘All You Had To Do Was Stay’. I have some clips from the concert and they are on my YouTube channel here (that link will open in a new window and it'll be the video) if you fancy watching it. They are at 3:33 to 5:16. Here are some pictures from the concert.

After the concert I came out the tunnel to see my mum and dad and I cried again. I guess it was because I was overwhelmed. The concert was amazing and although it was painful and annoying to lug around the VIP tour merchandise I got it was something i’d do again and again. Her costumes were incredible and there is no doubt that Taylor can sing perfectly and she can bring Glasgow to their knees. I can't wait for her to come back and watch her do it all again.

Reflecting On How Far I've Come

So I had started and written a completely different blog post for my first post but I found something that made me decided to put up my original blog post next week. Since 2003 I have suffered from Depression but it went un-noticed until 2011 when it took over my life and I had a mental breakdown and started self-harming. It’s been over four years now but I still relapse occasionally and I still have very bad days but I have a handle on it, unlike four years ago. 

So I found an reflective essay I wrote on my Depression and Self-Harm that was a part of my folio work for Higher English in 2012 and I wanted to share it with you. 

To me the last paragraph is the most powerful. I know I wrote it, so i’m biased but tonight was the first time i’d read it in 3 years and it’s amazing that I wrote that when I didn’t know what 2013 was going to throw at me and i’d relapse and start doing it continuously like I had done in 2011.

“This essay has taken me over two weeks to write because every time i’ve sat and a read a paragraph back; I got a throbbing pain behind my eyes, my throat became swollen and I needed to go and take a fast pace walk around my room to stop myself from breaking down. Finally, i’m sitting here in front of my monitor, looking down at my wrist and the thing that stands out isn’t the fading lines that bring my stomach into my throat whenever I look at them for too long, it’s the black ink which reads the word ‘Believe’ because to me, believe can mean 100 things; I believe in Sherlock Holmes, I believe in love at first sight or I believe that I am worth living.”

There’s a bit in that paragraph that brings tears to my eyes, and I wanted to bold it for you. As you saw in my essay I was adopted, my gran died when I was 7 and also, something I didn’t add to my essay, but my mum was diagnosed with cancer back in 2009. My life has been anything but ordinary but for me to have been able to write this in 2012 showed that I was willing myself to get better but you never know what is going to happen tomorrow or in a few months that could ruin your clean streak. Everything we go through in life is a lesson and we can learn from it or continue to make the same mistakes. It’s all up to us and no one should tell you how to live your life, you live it for you. Not for anyone else. So i’m going to leave you with this little section and I promise i’ll be back next week with a much happier blog post.

“I don’t have to act anymore; I don’t have to wear long sleeves or become conscious when holding my hand up in class. I can keep the acting for the stage and produce my best performance to date.”